MLB IS HAVING A SALE...EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!
Are you an advertiser who is looking to blaze the paths, not just follow them? Well I have the solution for you. Rather than blaze paths, or follow them, why not just slap your corporate logo all over the path? For a relatively low price you can put your logo between any two bases on any one of our 30 Major League Baseball Stadiums.

One thing I never understood is, we name stadiums after corporations, why not just name the teams themselves? Why name your team the "Dodgers" when they could be the "Starbucks"? What the hell is a Dodger, does anybody know? But everybody knows what a Starbucks is.

Have you ever noticed how plain baseball uniforms look? I mean, you have a name, a number and a team name and that's it. The average person looks and that and sees tradition, I look at it and see marketing opportunities. Imagine what your dot com company could do if its logo was placed right below "Ichiro" and right above "51". I have even a better idea. Let's just get rid of numbers all together. They're too difficult to keep track of. I suggest that each player is identified with a company. So for example, Derek Jeter might just have a Nike swoosh on his back, Barry Bonds a BALCO emblem, and Milton Bradley will have some sort of bail bonds company on his back. This is perfect.

I have this perfect vision for baseball. Here it is...
It's the bottom of the ninth inning, Game 7 of the 2010 Clear Channel Series. The San Diego Starbucks are tied with the Kansas City Starbucks (for the record 16 teams are named "Starbucks") at 19 (more runs=more revenue). With a runner on Phillips 66 (formerly known as second base), there is a base-hit up the middle that bounces just in-front of the News Corp. logo in centerfield. As the runner rounds McDonalds Brand New Egg McMuffin (formerly third base) the throw from the outfielder bounces and the catcher secures the ball against the NBC Must See TV logo on his chest-protector and reaches down to make the tag but the baserunner just gets his hand down on the Home Depot homeplate just in time to win the Clear Channel Series 20-19 in most dramatic fashion.

...Of course this was a satirical look at what Major League Baseball is heading towards. MLB announced today that from June 11-June 13 they will place advertisements for Spider Man 2 on the bases and pitching rubber before the game, and on the on-deck circle during games (ESPN.com story here).

Honestly, I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed that a sport that I love so much would do something so pathetic. I hate to sound like a demagogue, but IS ANYTHING SACRED? (haha, sorry). Why is this necessary? Anything for a dollar, unbelievable. The worst thing is that it's for Spider Man 2. I by no way condone this, but if it was something like Gatorade or Nike, at least those are major, sports-related corporations. But Spider Man 2? How far away are we from special MLB promotions for movies like "Waterworld" and "Gigli"?

I really don't know what to say about this anymore.