CHEF KILLS DRINKING BUDDY, TRIES TO TURN HIM INTO TAMALES
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A Mexican cook killed his drinking buddy, cut up his body and boiled him in herbs, according to police who fear he may have been turning him into tamales.

Isn't that the worst? When you're enjoying a few beers with a friend and he does the whole "hey, man, mind if I cut you up and try turning you into tamales?" thing? I mean this happens to me at least once every weekend and I always have give the same "no, I decided to throw a few back with you because I wanted to have a good time, not because I wanted you to kill me and turn me into a mexican delicacy."

"We saw the flesh and the tamales, and our first impression was that he was making tamales with the flesh of the deceased, although it has yet to be confirmed," Lorena Cortes, a spokeswoman for Michoacan state prosecutors, said.

But she also told Reuters by telephone that Machuca, 56, may just have been trying to dispose of the body. Police say he stabbed the man through the heart in a fight after they had drunk together.

I'm sure it was all just a coincidence that he happened to be making tamales in one part of the kitchen and letting the body parts of the guy he just murdered simmer in aluminum sauce pans. I'd like to thank this guy for freaking me out and making sure that I now will never eat a tamale ever again because of the fear that the cook might have chopped up his drinking buddy and used him to flavor the tamales. Thanks a lot, Carlos Machuca.