EUSTACHY HIRED AT SOUTHERN MISS
Its nice to see a guy get a second chance. He had a successful career at Iowa State. The Cyclones won the Big 12 in 2000 and 2001. I just hope that there are certain provisions written into his contract, because an alcoholic is never "cured", they are always "recovering". Maybe provisions like "no sending your team back after a 20 point road loss while the head coach stays back and attends parties in the dorms" or "the coach can't kiss chunky 20 year-old college girls while getting drunk on Naty Lights". I'm just looking out for the best interests of everybody involved here.

This brings me to another point. Everybody has been to a college party, and usually you don't know everybody there. But there always seems to be the "old guy". "Dude, who's the old guy? He's got to be like 26". I mean I've been to parties where there have been guys probably in their late twenties, but never in their late 40's. I was at the University of New Mexico over Thanksgiving break, and there was this approximately 27 year-old guy who kept asking me if he could "bum a cig" about every 15 minutes. Usually when there is a really old guy at a party we all just kind of point and laugh to ourselves. What if that "old guy" was about fifty and the head basketball coach of the school that just lost to your school by 20? I guess the best solution would be to buy him a Naty light and give him a chunky co-eds face to lick.

The moral of this story is that there are certain people that shouldn't be rolling up to college parties. So if you're 25, or if you're the head coach of a Division 1 college basketball team, you probably should just stay away.